For round 13, the theme was ‘Abstract Anomaly’. This theme had us all suggesting weird, more abstract games. Games that maybe live outside of people’s idea of a normal video game. In my opinion, we had some great games to choose from here.
A cold fall night, windows down, streetlights periodically illuminating our faces as we drive west on 18 mile. My high school crush’s 2001 Dodge Neon smelling like hazelnut coffee creamer & perfume. Her and I are headed to the CVS where my car is parked. She is dropping me off after catching the second half of ‘Sinister’ (2012) with me at the movie theater where she worked. We had been talking and flirting with each other for a while at this point and I definitely wanted to ask her to be my girlfriend, but I was terrified of messing something up and being rejected. I had never dated anyone before, so I wasn’t sure how to take things to the next step. With CVS rapidly approaching, our night together was coming to a close. She pulls into the parking lot and parks next to my car. We look at each other under the soft glow of the Dodge Neon’s dome lights and with two hundred million thoughts racing through my head all at the same moment, I am paralyzed. I give her a hug, say goodbye, and step out of her car. As she drives out of the parking lot, I start to walk over to my car, disappointed in myself. I give a pathetic, little tug on the handle of the car door and it doesn’t budge. I reach for my keys and they aren’t in my pocket… I’ve left them in her glovebox on accident. Quickly, I call her and sheepishly ask if she can turn around so I can get my car keys. A few minutes later, she pulls back into the parking lot and steps out of her car with my keys. Embarrassed, I apologize and as she places the keys into my hand, she leans in and kisses me under the parking lot lights. For what probably lasted 1-2 seconds, I was so stunned from my first kiss that it felt like time stopped completely. She told me goodnight and then drove away. I sat in my car, the happiest I had ever been in my entire life and very satisfied at how my first kiss turned out. In the next couple of days, I finally worked up the courage to ask her to be my girlfriend. I caught her after our painting class together and with my heart beating double time, slowly asked her the question that had been on my mind for the past few months. With a moment’s hesitation, she smiled, her eyes met mine, and she told me “no”.
Chulip is a game about kissing. A game about loving your neighbor. A game about loving the stranger. Chulip is a game about life. In Chulip, you play as a boy moving to a new town with his father. Shortly after moving, the boy meets the girl of his dreams. When he tries to kiss her, she lets the boy know he isn’t ready by giving him a big slap across the face. That’s fair — we should have known. Even after facing brutal rejection, our protagonist is determined. He wants to kiss the girl of his dreams at any cost. The boy quickly learns that in order to kiss her, he needs to learn how to love and send her a beautiful love letter. Herein lies the real meat of the game. The player navigates the boy around ‘Long Life Town’ and its surrounding areas meeting the residents that live there as well as the residents that live underground. Everybody has a story and a certain requirement in order for the boy to kiss them. If the boy can fulfill the requirements and kiss residents, his heart will grow stronger. Eventually, with a strong enough heart and the materials to write a beautiful love letter, the boy will be able to meet the girl of his dreams underneath the lover’s tree and give her a big, fat kiss.
Now, after describing the game, it almost seems tame. ‘Oh, that’s cute - you have to learn how to love’. Once you actually get into the game, however, you realize how bizarre it actually is. Over the course of Chulip, the boy may encounter obstacles including, but not limited to: Donating to a temple in order to kiss a monk, sneaking out of a bathhouse almost naked to kiss a turtle, getting a man arrested and then getting arrested yourself in order to break him out of prison, and helping a man get to the bathroom without getting shot by a sniper. Once the boy strengthens his heart a little, he can work on acquiring the three materials he needs to create the perfect love letter: Love Ink, Love Fountain Pen, and Love Paper. To get his hands on these items, the boy will need to jump through some…. highly specific hoops. In short, he’ll need to prove his belief in UFOs, become the manager of a factory, and restore a temple’s wooden gong.
The game is definitely a little off-the-wall, but all of the craziness only ends up adding to the charm. Every time I found a new resident, I was trying to figure out what their ‘kiss requirements’ were. Many residents need you to kiss other residents in order to begin fulfilling their own requirements, creating a sort of chain and a really addicting gameplay loop. The art and character designs are all fantastic and unique. Some of them will definitely make you do a double take and some will have you laughing at just how ridiculous they are. The game’s soundtrack is also just fantastic. It is comprised of jazzy, upbeat tunes many of which include quartet-like onomatopoeia vocals that really shine. Standout tracks include Worldly Desire Temple and Scarecrow field.
While the general gameplay loop, wackiness, and music really contributed to having an awesome time playing this game, I do have a few complaints. Chulip is pretty difficult to play without any help. You won’t get very far without consulting the manual, because many kiss requirements are not logical or easy to figure out. The game tells you that you can spy on residents to learn where they will be and when, but it isn’t easy to actually learn what you need to do in order to kiss them. Another downside to the game is that in order to play it, you need to spend a lot of time waiting around. Chulip has a day/night cycle and residents/events will only appear at certain times. This means you will be spending a lot of time doing nothing. Lastly, towards the end of the game, the player is required to purchase an item that costs a huge amount of money that frankly, I was nowhere near rich enough to buy. I needed to spend a decent chunk of time ‘grinding’ to get enough money to continue on in the story and it just felt like a weird hiccup in the pacing.
Chulip is a freak of a ps2 game that I would recommend to anyone interested in video game oddities. If you let yourself learn how the game is played, I think anyone would enjoy the loop and the comedy. Just keep in mind that it isn’t without its flaws and remember: you can’t just run around kissing whoever you want — you need to earn it.
Well, as you can imagine, the rejection I experienced after my first kiss was pretty shocking. She told me she had recently gotten out of her last relationship and that she wasn’t ready to jump into anything serious. We remained friends through high school (thankfully, because we took many art classes together) but we haven’t caught up since graduation. Not sure where she is or how she is doing, but hoping she is well. And you know what? I hope you are too. Thanks for reading.
"Thought I was rich, turns out I'm broke"
"Pokemon for smoochin"
"All kissing should have a manual this thorough"
